Personal

I'm not really one to go on sharing my feelings to the world, but something has been bouncing around in my head for a few days so I thought I'd jot it down.

I'll be honest, sometimes I get jealous of Kevin. He leaves every day to take on the world. He goes to school and work work works. Now he is working on putting together a new charting system for Loma Linda, could that be any more perfect for him? Nursing, but no bedside care+computers=love for Kevin (just a little basic math for you). He's in Wisconsin as we speak, talking to his co workers about computers and needles and HTML and Windows whatever-number-they're-on and iv's. I'm at home looking for new recipes and trying to get my grocery bill under $150. I just feel like they're all SO much smarter than me, that HE'S so much smarter than me. He has places to go and people to see. He goes there and has so much in common with everyone he works with, he comes home and I inform him that Sawyer has poop 4 times, 4! And that I need help putting the sheets on. Such a contrast. And I know he's grateful for every little thing I do, it's not about that. I just feel like it's not as important, and I am envious of all the people he talks to all day and their shared knowledge of something he loves.

But I look at my little Sawyer, and I think to myself that I made that. I grew him, like a pumpkin, in my tummy for 9 months (actually, 10, google it if you don't believe me). I'm the one who figures out what he likes to eat. I find out what scares him. I kiss boo boos. I'll teach him his animals, colors, numbers. To wave hi an bye, and to have manners. I'll teach him to love mama and daddy the same (but to always hug mama a little harder). You know what, most days that sounds pretty ok to me.




Ok and here's a picture.
We take eating pretty serious around these parts.