It's pretty weird but pretty cool

I'm taking up some of my very valuable sleep time to share some thoughts on mommyhood. I'm 2 months in and I love it. I don't love every minute, especially when that minute is 3:42am, but overall it's pretty amazing.

When he cries after I put him down for the night I immediately get hysterical, even though it has never, ever taken us more than 2 visits to pop the pacifier back in his mouth to put him to sleep. Every single time I ask/whisper scream to Kevin "What if he doesn't go to sleep??!" but he always does. I just know with babies there's no guarantees.

I read a book that said night time should be quiet time for baby; it should be boring with the lights low and minimal eye contact so you don't stimulate them. So making him conduct to Boston Pops Christmas music at 2:30am is considered stimulating? You learn something new everyday.

When I told my dad he is now sleeping in his crib at night he asked me if I missed him. Not. Even. A. Little. I love walking into his nursery in the morning after a semi decent night sleep and seeing his little face.

Having this little guy has made me fall so in love with Kevin. He's an amazing dad and I don't know how he does everything. He's a daddy, a husband, a student and a full time nurse. I'm crazy about him.

I love friends with kids, it's so nice to vent or brag to other young hot moms. It's not so fun venting and bragging to my single friends. I'm sure they'll agree.

I love watching other people hold him, especially his Grandma/Grandpa/Aunt. They love him so much and has made me decide that living in California for a little while won't be that bad. They love him and I love having babysitters.

When I would tell people I wanted 4 kids everyone said "Oh just wait, it's hard work." Now that I know this I tell people I want 2 kids and everyone says "Oh just wait, it won't be this hard forever." Ok which is it? I think people just don't like agreeing with you.

I can silently walk around the house all day but when I walk into his room my breathing becomes labored and every bone in my body cracks.

When I put him down for a nap I'm not convinced he's asleep for the first 45 minutes, and just when I think it's safe to take a nap he wakes up. When I think it's safe to do the dishes or laundry he sleeps for 3 hours.

I've never been so tired in my entire life.

That's all for now, and I'm telling you, the second my head hits the pillow he'll decide it's time to eat.